Snow Days

Here in Alabama the English term "snow flurry" has only one southern fried "ainglish" equivalent, "blizzard." So with the threat of our first "blizzard" of this winter season I want to take this opportunity to formally publish my snow and inclement weather policy.

If inclement weather threatens a regularly scheduled worship service time, call Wal-Mart. If Wal-Mart is open, we will be open. More specifically, for the family of faith at Ridgecrest, call Wal-Mart on Chalkville Mountain Road at 661-1957.

I know this sounds like a joke, and it is funny, but I'm not kidding. This has been my policy for the last 11 years and it will be until there is a hostile takeover of Wal-Mart or Jesus comes back, whichever comes first. Furthermore, this policy is funny, but it works. I adopted this policy while I was the pastor of Lantana Road Baptist Church in Crossville, TN where it snows almost every other Sunday. When it snowed people would call me to see if we were going to cancel church, which we usually did. Then I found out that we were cancelling church and they were all going to Wal-Mart anyway. If you can drive to Wal-Mart, you can drive to church. The Wal-Mart policy is user friendly, simple, and effective. With the Wal-Mart policy there is no need for rapid fire phone tree strategies that are almost sure to leave someone out of the loop. More importantly, there is no need for 350 people to call me, usually beginning before 6 a.m. on a snowy Sunday, to see if we are having "church." Call Wal-Mart, ask them if they are open. While you have them on the line, ask them what is on sale.

So there is it, IF WAL-MART IS OPEN, RIDGECREST WILL BE OPEN.