Men are Giving Up

According to Forbes, 10 million men between ages 25 and 64 have dropped out of the American work force. They have quit their jobs and are no longer looking. Men are giving up on work.

Numerous articles and studies show that American men are giving up on marriage. The number of men leaving their marriages in their 50's is soaring. The number of young men who are not even considering marriage is staggering. With so many men giving up on marriage it seems that the traditional American family is about to breathe its last breath.

At an alarming rate, men are giving up on life. Since 2000 the suicide rate amongst men has been steadily climbing from 17.7 men per 100,000 to 21.4 men per 100,000. The suicide rate amongst white males aged 35 to 64 increased 40% between 1999 and 2010.

There may be numerous contributing factors to the loss of so many men; stress, fear, failure. Whatever the reason, every man has his low points. What if those low points could become turning points?

In my recently released book, Pulse, I point men to one of David's low points. After an amazing start, David suffered a string of losses. In the eight years after David defeated Goliath, David went from being the most beloved man in Israel to being just another one of its rejects. He lost his marriage. He lost one of his best friends. He lost his mentor. He made a decision that resulted in the brutal slaying of 85 priests. David went from being destined to the throne to being a broken man, depressed in a cave.

It was a low point - but it became a turning point. David made some decisions in the cave that kept him from giving up and helped him get up. Rather than fight back, David learned how to fight forward. What were those decisions? How do low points become turning points?
For a low point to become a turning point a man must make the following decisions:

• Will he reconcile or rip apart? Under pressure a man can do irreparable damage to already fragile relationships. At low points men can make decisions that can either push people away, or bring critical people in close.
• Will he learn to be a leader or continue to be a loser? Men take insults personally. As much as we would like to pretend it isn't true - words hurt. At low points a man can make a decision that turns insults into points of inspiration.
• Which determinations will lead to the best decisions? For men, the low points of life can either becomes stopping points or launching points. The cave can either be a destination or a place of determination. Your choice.
• Is your system the reason for your situation? At low points men tend to focus on their problems. The problem is that in most cases, the problem is not your problem! The problem is the system. What are the consistent daily decisions that have led to the low point? Most men don't need a situation change, they need a system change.
• Will he implode or improve? David could have given up in the cave. Instead he turned a bunch of rag tag, down-and-outers into elite warriors the Bible calls Men of Valor. Low points can become places in which men learn new skills that can greatly improve the next chapters of his life.

Low points can be turning points. Don't give up.


If you would like to know more, check out my new book Pulse; particularly chapter 5, Valor. Pulse is available in my online bookstore or on Amazon.